Choosing the Netherlands: How We Made the Biggest Decision of Our Lives

October 2021 changed everything for us. I had just walked away from one of the worst job experiences of my life — the kind that chips away at your confidence and sanity until you finally decide enough is enough. The very next day, Mikhail got the call. He’d landed a job in Stadskanaal, Netherlands.

Just like that, we were standing at a crossroads: do we stay in South Africa, buy our house, finish planning our weddings, and keep building the life we knew? Or do we take a leap into the unknown, with two dogs and a thousand uncertainties in tow?

After long talks, lists scribbled on scrap paper, and a lot of encouragement from our families, we chose to go.

The Admin Nobody Talks About

Moving abroad always sounds glamorous — a new adventure, a new country, Instagram-worthy excitement. What nobody tells you about is the mountain of admin that comes first.

Our visas were the biggest piece. Mikhail’s new job came through an agency, thankfully, so they handled most of his paperwork. He applied for an MVV visa, and only once his was approved could I apply for my dependent visa. Beyond the usual stack of documents, we also had to provide letters of no impediment and proof of our relationship.

What does “proof of relationship” even mean? For us, it meant writing a detailed letter about our story and putting together a Google Drive folder packed with evidence: photos of us at family holidays, birthdays, and our proposal day, plus anything that showed the life we’d built together. Thankfully, it was all accepted without issues — but the process was nerve-wracking.

And then there were the dogs. If moving humans takes paperwork, moving pets is a saga of its own. That deserves its own post, so I’ll share that journey here soon.

Squeezing the Most Out of Our Last Months in South Africa

With visas underway, life turned into a blur. We double-timed the wedding planning, tried to see as much of our family and friends as possible, and spent weekends sorting through years of belongings.

We decided to travel light — keeping only what we could pack in our luggage and carefully boxing up a few sentimental things to bring later. Furniture, appliances, and the “big stuff” all stayed behind, and honestly, it was freeing.

December was a rollercoaster. We spent our last Christmas and New Year’s surrounded by family, eating all the food, taking endless photos, soaking in every hug. Panda, our dog, had ACL surgery that month, so a lot of time was spent at home nursing her back to health — which, in a way, gave us even more quiet moments together.

Saying Goodbye

The hardest part came at the airport. The goodbyes had been tough, but walking through the boarding gate was something else. The tears, the weight in our chests, the ache of leaving everyone behind — it was unbearable. The only thing that made it easier was knowing we’d be back in just a few months for our wedding.

By mid-January, Mikhail left first to start his new job and set things up for us. A month later, I would follow, dogs and all (though that story took a twist of its own).

What’s Next

This post is the story of how we made the decision to move. But the real adventure started the day we landed in the Netherlands. You can read about our first impressions, culture shock, and life in Stadskanaal in this post.

Lotsa love,

Alisha